Sniggity-niggity-noinch! (heywood417) wrote in iron_trash,

Entry: Chocolate Beer Cupcakes!


So when it was announced that this round of Iron Trash would have the theme ingredient of chocolate, I got very excited, because a surplus of chocolate is one thing we DO have in our house. This is primarily because my husband & I just got married back in July. We had a cash budget to stick to, so for our wedding favors we bought up Hershey's kisses during the after-Easter sales (since our wedding colors were blue & green, and Easter Hershey's kisses are wrapped with blue, green, and pink you can guess, we ate the pink ones).

And while our wedding was lovely, it was also the hottest day of the year (up to that date), so we were about 50-60 guests short of what we were expecting....which led to a lot of leftover cake, food, beer, wine....and wedding favors. We polished off most of that within a month or so after the wedding, but we still have a surplus of Kisses in the freezer that we dip into occasionally.

I figure leftover Easter candy at Halloween time would be worthy of a few trash points. :)

But of course, what to DO with said candy? We need something else trashy to combine with it, don't we?

...what about beer? My brain says. Great idea, brain! And how do we combine these two trash-tastic ingredients? Well, chocolate beer bread, of course. BUT-- beer bread isn't quite trashy let's crank it up to 11 and make beer CUPCAKES.

What do we need to start this magical journey, you ask?

1 1/2 c flour
1/2 tsp of salt (generic, of course)
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 c cocoa powder (preferably of an unknown age, dredged up from the recesses of your pantry)
1/4 tsp white pepper (nope, not a typo. The recipe I found called for pepper, and I'm all for weird ingredients)
1 1/4 tsp baking soda (also generic)
1/2 c Kisses (original recipe called for chocolate chips--we'll chip-ify our Kisses in a moment)
1/2 c (aka 1 stick) of margarine (original recipe called for softened butter, but we all know its not true Iron Trash without some margarine)
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla (Kroger store brand, but of course)
1/2 c packed brown sugar (also preferably of a questionable age, but not so old that it's solidified into a sugary brick)
1 c of dark beer, such as a porter. I figured chocolate beer would make the most sense. I realize there's nothing inherently trashy about craft beer, but in my defense, Rogue Mocha Porter IS the cheapest chocolate beer the store had.


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and break out the muffin pan.

I use muffin papers because I'm lazy & hate to clean muffin pans. (FYI--if you know how to keep your cupcakes from sticking to the paper, I'd love to know.)

Mix all the dry ingredients together in one bowl--if you have them, use the totes-kewt measuring spoons you got as a wedding gift:

Then mix the eggs, vanilla, brown sugar, & margarine together with an electric beater (or your Kitchenaid--another wedding gift):

(be sure to make off-color phallic remark about how your butter & egg seems to share something in common with Lance Armstrong...)

Beat these ingredients together until well mixed, & then add in your cup of beer:

HEY! We need some chocolate chips! So add half a cup of Kisses into a food processor (or just smash 'em up with a meat mallet if you don't have a food processor) and chop until you get a decent "chunk" size:

Add these into your dry mix & stir...then slowly add your dry ingredients into the mixing bowl & mix well.

Scoop batter into the muffin cups & fill about 3/4 of the way, & pop 'em in the oven for 22-25 minutes:

(Please ignore our filthy pizza stone.)

Go watch some Season 2 of Fringe while you wait....

...and then 22-25 minutes later, you have these:

But, as we all know....this is just a muffin at this point. And "chocolate beer muffin" doesn't have quite the right ring to what's the inherent difference between a muffin and a cupcake?

Why, ICING, of course!!!

Now, I spent some time pondering what would be the perfect icing for this beer cupcake. I thought about getting super-creative, trying to make some sort of equally trashy & delicious topping...and if I'd had the chance, I would have picked up some Whipahol....but I'm lazy, as we've discussed previously, so we used what we had...another ingredient that I believe has been featured on Iron Trash in the past...


So top your cupcake with some recently-removed-from-the-freezer cool whip (generic or non-generic), garnish with one of the Kisses, and then enjoy with the remaining beer, while waiting for your favorite team to make it to the World Series (in your favorite glass, which was a wedding gift). Serve on a paper cake plate that is ALSO left over from the wedding.

For the record, these turned out AWESOME. Not overly sweet, plenty chocolately, a nice crisp top, fairly moist, & a hint of the porter flavor. I think it would have been even better if we'd gotten one of the coffee + chocolate stouts...but the one I saw at the store was $5 a bottle...and yeah. I'm a little cheap for that.
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1. Creativity/Originality - 8/10 - beer bread is pretty standard, but making cupcakes and using the chocolate kisses ups the score.
2. Trashiness/Presentation - 8/10 - minus a few points for baking from scratch and using nice beer, but plus a few points for making the kisses into chocolate chips. I would've expected melting them, but not the food processor.
3. Yum Factor/"I would eat that" - 9/10 - they look seriously delicious.

You can keep cupcakes from sticking to the wrapper by putting all the wrappers in the pan and then giving it a quick once-over with cooking spray.
thanks for the vote and the tip!
1. Creativity/Originality: 9/10 I never would have thought of putting beer into cupcakes. Plus using 5 month old Kisses and mashing them up? Genius. (And the fact that you still have them around is a little weird if you are chocoholics)

2. Trashiness/Presentation: 9/10 You got bonus points for the pizza stone but a point off for the glass. ;-) although my team did beat your team in the WS a couple of years ago and I suppose I shouldn't penalize you for that.

3. Yum Factor: 8/10 I scored it this hire because it was frosted with Cool-Whip (which I LOVE). I am not a huge fan of chocolate I know or beer</small>yeah, I know</small> but this sounded intriguing enough that I would be willing to try it.
I think the reason they're still around is because we hit a wall with wedding leftovers. There was one point when we were all "OMGYES! We finally finished the wedding leftovers!!!" and then a week later, we found yet another container of BBQ meatballs buried in the back of the freezer. As much as I LOVE BBQ meatballs, it was like, "*sigh* Really? More meatballs...OK...FINE. I GUESS we'll eat these."
LOL-reminds me of my sister's wedding.

They had planned for 150 people and ended up with 50. My parents and I (and sister and b-i-l) were eating leftovers for two damn months. UGH.
We did a lot of share-age with our families too. My hub's sister has three kids, so we sent home ice cream & about 5 2-Liters of root beer with her (from our root beer float bar), some cupcakes & sandwiches with his parents, and my dad managed to make off with the remainder of the cocktail shrimp...I was a little sad about that, actually. :)
1. Creativity/Originality: 7/10 I scored this low for the sole reason that I am so over the whole cupcake fad. Yay arbitrary scoring, lol! I did like the idea of using the kisses as chocolate chips, though.

2. Trashiness/Presentation: 8/10 like a previous poster, I'm scoring you down for baking from scratch, despite my jealousy over your cookware. It also doesn't really look trashy; it looks sort of sweet and nice.

3. Yum Factor: 6/10 I'm not a fan of cake, beer, or a ton of chocolate, but I know a lot of people that would eat this.

And I feel you on the wedding leftovers thing. We got married in August, and we have taco meat in 2 5lb tubs in our freezer. We will never have to cook taco meat again @_@
Man, if we still had those meatballs, I totally would have traded them for some taco meat. LOL We thought about doing a taco bar type thing, but my cousin had already done it at her wedding the year previous, and I'm very anti-copycat....particularly when it comes to her, because she's the type that would hold it over your head, you know? :)

Thanks for the scoring!
YAY! An entry!

Creativity - 8/10. I've seen chocolate beer cake, but I liked the cupcake idea and it was a good way to use up the leftover chocolate.
Trashiness - 9/10 mainly for the use of already re-cycled chocolate. I love it.
Yum - 8/10 I'm not a fan of beer to drink, but I do like it cooked in food. Anything tastes better with chocolate, though, right? They looked good.
They were pretty darn tasty! They got a little more dense & "bread-like" the second day, once they had fully cooled down, and you could taste the beer a little bit more, but it's still mainly a chocolate flavor. And the cool whip was very complementary.
Creativity: 7/10. I've seen beer/chocolate cake a few places recently, but you definitely gained back points for the creative creation of chocolate chips.
Trashiness: 9/10. COOLWHIP ICING. 'Nuff said.
Yum: 10/10. I want one now.

Completely unrelated to food points: 100, because GO CARDS!
WHOO! Go Cards!!! :D

(sidenote: my husband & I shut off the game last night during the 9th inning because we were just completely beat & the score was 12 - 7 Cards... then this morning, my husband woke up with this frustrated look on his face...apparently he had a dream that the Brewers won the game 22-12 in that last inning! LOL)